X-PRESS FILES

On his last day in Switzerland — that was in April — my nephew Ethan drew a camel on the magic slate I gave to him as a going-away present. A camel! I was really surprised because…he’s just three!

Asked how he learned to draw a camel, he said in his sweet, tiny voice: “My teacher in Israel taught me.”

Ethan was born in the Philippines, but later raised in the US and then in Israel. Like his five-year-old sister Yannah, he’s an expat’s kid. Along with his Ate (older sister), he went to an Israeli preschool or what is called Gan, where he played with lots of Israeli children (he now speaks Hebrew).

In July 2006, he was featured in CNN International as the Filipino baby sleeping in a bomb shelter in Haifa (read the story here). His photo, the image of which made me sad because of its innocence amid a war climate, was telecast non-stop.

So it was with great joy that I got to bond with my nephew for the first time here in Switzerland when his family came for an eight-day visit.

Ethan grew up to be a little bit makulit, yet charmingly so; his smile has the power to melt people’s hearts, my sister once said. And she was right: many Swiss strangers warmed up to him almost immediately. (I’ve been here for 5.5 years, and I’ve never had that kind of effect on our Swiss neighbors. LOL)

He loved the snow up on the Swiss mountains, the lake paddle boatride, the mini golf “tournament,” the feeding of the birds, and of course, the legendary Swiss chocolates. He also enjoyed watering the plants of my husband in our tiny balcony garden. I really think he has a future in gardening, unlike his aunt.

An asthmatic like me, Ethan unfortunately got sick during our trip to Neuchatel brought about by the cold weather and traveler’s fatigue (he had a bad cold when the photo above was taken at the train station). But that didn’t dampen his spirits. He even drew a camel while waiting for our train. What a trooper!

His family is now back in Manila, where he’s now enrolled in a private school (nursery level). According to my mother, he passed the entrance exams in May with flying colors. And just recently, he scored 100 in math, science, and language. Amazing. I kept telling myself, “But he’s just three! He’s just three!”

I miss him and his sister tremendously. Hope to see them again sometime next year, either in Switzerland or in the Philippines.

In my 5.5 years of stay here in Switzerland, I’ve been asked the following questions by Filipinos, whom are either mere acquaintances or complete strangers:

– Nagpapadala ka ba ng pera sa pamilya mo sa Pilipinas? or O ano, nagpadala ka na ba ng pera sa magulang mo? (Do you send money to your family in the Philippines? or So, did you already send money to your parents?)

– Bakit di mo na lang padala yung mga gamit na ayaw mo sa pamilya mo sa Pinas? May balikbayan box naman. (Why don’t you just send some of the stuff you don’t like to your family back home? There’s a Philippine shipment box service available here, anyway.)

– Bakit di ka mag-aral mag-drive? Dapat nagdra-drive ka na! (Why don’t you study how to drive? You should be driving already!)

It’s indeed a miracle how I manage to put up with such assuming questions or statements hurled by compatriots no less. I do try to take it all in stride. But sometimes, I can’t help but feel how uncalled for such remarks are. And I do feel it’s right to put some people in their place, albeit in a diplomatic way.

It’s highly assuming for these Pinoys to think that I need to send money back home (not that it’s bad; it’s not). Well, I don’t. Because, thank God, my family is more than able to meet all their financial needs, and I thank God for this blessing.

It’s highly assuming for these Pinoys to think that I need to collect discarded stuff here in Switzerland and send them back home in boxes (not that it’s bad; it’s not). My family doesn’t need secondhand clothes, shoes or bags. My parents’ house in the Philippines is cluttered as it is with valuable “junk.”

It’s highly assuming for these Pinoys to think that I don’t know how to drive and should enroll in a driving school. I’m happy for the integration success of these Filipino wives of Swiss men, who learned how to drive only after they had migrated to Switzerland; I truly am. But I think they should know that I’ve been driving in Manila since 1992; it’s not a big deal, really. And if I like using the reliable Swiss public transportation, that’s my choice. That doesn’t mean I don’t know how to drive. (Not that it’s bad not to know how to drive; it’s not.)

It astounds me how some Filipinos in the Diaspora can be too familiar and too assuming too soon even in the company of strangers.

One Filipino lady I met at the town market even had the gall to ask me: “Magkano sweldo ng asawa mo?” (How much is the salary of your husband?) And another Filipino, who hails from Samar, inquired about “my would-be Swiss inheritance”: Kailan mo makukuha yung pamana ng in-laws mo? (When are you going to get the inheritance from your in-laws?) Gosh, I don’t even think about these things! And it’s not proper to talk about money with others, especially those you don’t know so well; it’s considered taboo.

I don’t want to sound snobbish or elitist (because I’m not). But this kind of talk is so crass, really. Much as a try, I simply can’t relate to some of the Filipino women I meet here. Their interests and convictions are worlds apart from mine. And that’s not a bad thing. We’re just…different. What peeves me is when people cross boundaries and invade my personal space, asking silly and sometimes shocking questions based on stereotypal assumptions.

“Is this how Filipinos are?” my husband once asked me. I replied, “Well, one can’t generalize. I’m a Filipino, but I don’t coverse like that. I always respect other people’s privacy. It’s really a case-to-case basis.” He then said he understood why I’m such an intellectual snob here in Switzerland, a statement which surprised me.

But come to think of it, his observation is not one without basis. I’m more visible in the town’s public library, where I borrow loads of books and DVDs every week, than in the meetings of the local Filipino community. Maybe because I feel more at ease just reading books and watching DVDs at home than meeting new Filipino “friends” outside. Novels and films are less complicated to deal with.