Oct

6

Swiss Questions

Filed Under General, Humor, Migrant Life, Society & Culture, The Philippines | 7 Comments

Okay, I’ve blogged about the silly and crude questions some of my compatriots, who are also based in Switzerland, had asked me in the past. (The post, apparently, has become one of the most commented and most linked blog entry on X-Press Files of late).

I guess it’s time for the Swiss version of the blog post.

So here it goes — a list of (silly) questions posed to me by some Swiss acquiantances:

– “Do you have wine in the Philippines?” — asked by my husband’s first cousin during a family reunion.

– “Does your family sleep in straw mats? Do they live in a hut made of dried leaves?” — asked by a German language teacher during class.

– “Do you know how to operate a washing machine?” — asked by the lady caretaker of our apartment building during my first month in Switzerland.

– “How come you can speak in English?” — asked by a group of French-speaking Swiss classmates in a German course for the jobless during the first day in class.

– “How come you know when America was discovered and when the First World War was?” — asked by the same group of French-speaking Swiss classmates during a trivia game in our German class.

– “Am I already considered rich in your country?” — asked by a cash-strapped, French-speaking Swiss classmate in the same German course during a speaking exercise.

– “Would you like to work as a guinea pig in a pharmaceutical company in Basel?” — asked by the same cash-strapped, French-speaking Swiss classmate during the start of a lesson.

– “What is the Philippines?” — asked by a Swiss lady customer during the monthly outdoor market in our town.

– “How does it feel to ride a carabao?” — asked by my husband’s former officemate, who takes pride in being a “wide reader,” during a visit to our apartment.

Thank goodness nobody has asked me yet which Philippine tribal group I belong to (note: not that it’s bad per se to be a member of a certain tribe).

With regard to the question if we Filipinos have wine in the Philippines, I managed to answer in a calm way that yes, we do have wine in the Philippines…as well as clothes (apart from loincloths to cover the male genitals), cars, houses, office buildings, schools, computers, and many other things. Not just tribes, carabaos, and nipa huts.

Sep

8

Strange Behavior

Filed Under General, Humor | 4 Comments


You know you’re not quite your usual self when:

– You insert your credit card in the cash machine instead of your regular ATM card and expect the ATM machine to spit out cash after entering the wrong PIN.

– You seriously question the Die Post Finance personnel why your already expired postal account ATM card is not working, when in fact you’ve left the replacement card, sent months ago, in your apartment.

– You hand out the Coop Supercard to the Migros cashier instead of the Migros Cumulus card at the checkout counter.

– You say “Have a nice evening” in German to the Salvation Army staffer when in fact the sun is shining ever so bright outside…at 3 p.m.

– You think that the XL Calida men’s underwear with a tacky stripe design left unclaimed at the communal laundry room is your husband’s.

– You serve yogurt with molds to your husband with a nice smile and a chirpy “Bon Appetit!”

Things happen when you psyche yourself up and start chanting to yourself: “I like living in Switzerland. I like living in Switzerland. I like living in Switzerland.”

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